#i love being someone who is totally normal and can handle people not being able to hang out

[ghoulishcreep]

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[honey-tongued-devil]

↞[arcane preference] founding out you were injured in crossfire↠

Since I've created a Bluesky profile and wrote my thesis on Arcane, I'll be posting both old and new drawings there as soon as the time comes. I'm taking advantage of this little space to promote my other social account. honey-tongued.bsky.social Also, I've received both comments and requests, but Tumblr decided I couldn’t post for a week (my internet connection is terrible). I want to let you know that I appreciate them, and I'll get to everything as soon as I can. So, feel free to leave comments, feedback, or requests!

Jayce: 

- This is the worst news he could receive: he's a scholar, he has no idea how to handle these situations, and, most of all, he's forced to confront his pride.  

- Not only was he unable to protect you now, but what if it happens again? Even if he's there, he wouldn't know what to do.  

- What if there's a next time? What if it doesn't turn out as well next time?  

- His self-sabotage leads him to distance himself from you for a few days, not because he doesn't want to be near you while you're hurting, but because he's ashamed of not being able to protect the person he loves.  

- On the bright side, for even just a second, he remembers the original purpose of his research: making the city safe, helping people.  

- But on the negative side, with no one to blame, more than ever, the people of Zaun appear to him as beasts, second-class humans who can't be redeemed in any way.  

- When he finally gathers the courage to see you again, he tries to make amends for everything: for not protecting you, for not being able to, for allowing someone to hurt you, and for not being there during your recovery.  

- He'll literally do anything to be forgiven: every morning you'll find breakfast in bed, if it's cold at night he'll prepare a warmer for your feet, and despite his squeamishness, he'll personally tend to your wounds, even if it makes him feel queasy.

Viktor:

- He tries to help you in every way possible, even ignoring his own pain.  

- He feels sadness, regrets that you went out alone and ended up in such a situation. He can't help but imagine the fear you must have felt, the confusion, and the loneliness when the guards intervened, and you woke up alone in the hospital.  

- He may be a scholar, but first and foremost he's a man with a moral code, and secondly, he's from Zaun: if he has any work, appointments, or lectures, he'll skip them all, maybe muttering a few insults in his thick accent at the most insistent people, and make up for it at night.  

- Plans, ideas, codes, anything – but he won't leave you alone unless you ask him to.  

- He takes care of you meticulously, respecting schedules, bringing you meals in bed, changing your bandages until your skin heals, and you're able to stand on your own again.  

- He doesn't mind helping you – as a chronically ill person who refuses others' help, he's learned to do everything on his own, and he's almost happy that his skills can be useful to someone else.

Ekko:

- Is it something totally normal in the lanes? Yes.  

- Does this stop Ekko from panicking? No.  

- He's the one who finds you and brings you to the others, but he doesn't want, nor can he afford, to be seen panicking. So, he swallows his despair and tries to act as normal as possible while ten other people rush to help you.  

- His face remains expressionless as the most skilled remove debris, clean the wound, stitch your torn flesh, and bandage you, but his foot keeps tapping the floor with force and speed, revealing his anxiety.  

- When the others insist that it's best you stay in the makeshift infirmary, he tries not to protest, but suddenly every moment of the day becomes an excuse to pass by: to bring you stolen sweets from Piltover, to tell you about some expedition, maybe even steal a kiss or fall asleep leaning against your mattress.  

- It's an overwhelming fear, but the fear of losing you makes him unable to think rationally, and all he feels is how much he misses you, even while you're right there with him.

Vander:

- A crossfire from the other side of the river was already a big enough provocation to alert him and prepare to defend the city or, if absolutely necessary, to strike back.  

- But you, as an accidental victim, are a huge problem.  

- He doesn’t have the heart to pull away from you, and when he does, he can’t help but feel frustrated, angry at himself, knowing he hasn’t been able to keep his city under control like he promised—to you, to Piltover, to everyone.  

- He’ll ask for your forgiveness by kissing the scarred skin every day, even if you insist it’s not his fault, and if you remember even one of the faces, he’ll go and handle the problem.  

- Not with violence, unless necessary, but it’s not about personal justice; rather, it’s about protecting the other citizens of the alleys too.  

- Even after you’ve healed, he’ll insist it’s absolutely necessary to carry you everywhere you need to go, claiming a very good doctor told him so.  

- And the memory of the scar will be tiny compared to all the marks Vander has left on you.  

Silco:

- Private justice is absolutely the first option, even though you were an accidental victim.  

- He’ll call all his goons and associates for a meeting while you’re still bedridden, to see if they’ve heard, seen, or been involved in any armed conflict, and if he doesn’t get a face or a name from them, he’ll turn to the brothel, the house of all information,  

- Until he finds who hurt you and makes sure they can’t do it again.  

- Silco isn’t fazed by blood or open wounds, but despite having enough experience to handle it himself, at least on the first day, he’ll take you to Singed to make sure you’re in the best condition.  

- In the following days, he’ll take care of you himself, but he has pride, a façade, and little emotional communication skills, so he won’t openly show how worried he is, relying entirely on the fact that you don’t know about the murder of your assailant and remember nothing of the visit to Singed.  

- But the only reason you heal so well and so quickly is that, even if he doesn’t know how to express it, all the love he feels is poured into the care he gives you.  

Jinx:

- Flashbacks. So many. Too many.  

- At some point, she’ll even convince herself that she’s the one who shot you, leading to a complete breakdown.  

- She punches her head, scratches herself without realizing it, her nose bleeds, and her eyes are bloodshot.  

- It takes her a while to convince herself that she wasn’t the one who shot you, even though the hallucinations overlap images of you with memories of her armed, creating waking nightmares that feel increasingly real.  

- As much as she’d like to ask her father for help, even just to give you a cleaner room, she feels responsible and is too scared that if she stays away from you, you’ll forget her. That’s why she sets up a little space for you and takes care of you herself, though not always painlessly.  

- She’s pulled bullets out of her own body more times than not after missions; what might seem like dangerous, delicate work to someone else is almost routine for her by now.  

- Once she has a suspicion of who might have done it, she’ll make sure they learn their lesson. 

 

Vi:

- Anger.  

- Why were you out alone? Why didn’t you leave as soon as you saw the crowd getting too big? Why were you in that area?  

- But her anger is just panic pouring out like a flood, the fear of not being able to protect the one she loves twists her stomach, making her feel like she might throw up, like she’s dying inside.  

- None of those questions mean she blames you, but she doesn’t know how to feel, what to think, or even what to do.  

- She’ll do everything to help you—bandaging you, cleaning your wounds, staying silent and giving her full attention to make up for not being there when you needed her, even though that’s not true.  

- And when the scar forms, she’ll kiss it every single day, every single night, like a little ritual between the two of you.  

Caitlyn:

- Safety first.  

- She’ll be the one to assess how bad the injury is, and if there are any foreign objects in your body, there’s a good chance she’ll try to handle it herself, even though at first it might seem a bit barbaric.  

- She’ll give you the guest room and call the family doctor to make sure you’re okay, that you don’t need anything else, and she’ll take care of what’s necessary, even teasing you a bit to hide her worry.  

- "A bullet in the leg from being caught in crossfire? Very vintage, I must say."  

- What you won’t know is that she’ll quietly increase security, not in an oppressive way, but just enough to make both you and the other citizens feel safer.  

- Her family won’t get involved directly, but they won’t stop her either. Sometimes Cassandra herself will make sure her daughter finds the tray to bring up to you, though she’ll never be too open about it.  

- The perfect rehabilitation? Long walks in the villa’s garden, so you can stop for some cookies or tea when you get tired.  

Mel:

- Flashbacks, but less personal than Jinx’s.  

- Her mother would call her weak if she knew how it kills her to see someone barely scratched by crossfire, and that realization soon turns into frustration, which then becomes anger.  

- She tries to stay calm, but her voice sounds like she’s scolding you, and then like she’s scolding the servants, or anyone else who crosses her path.  

- Two hours of lecture if you’re lucky—why you shouldn’t go out without a guard, why you shouldn’t put yourself in dangerous situations, why the enforcers are utterly useless and can’t find anyone responsible, even though the fight was so intense.  

- She’ll focus entirely on the bureaucratic side because little Mel was never taught how to deal with strong emotions, and she’s definitely feeling them now but can’t afford that vulnerability, even though she knows you’re safe.  

- She won’t take care of you herself, but she’ll always stay in the room. Not because she doesn’t want to, to be clear, but because she wants you to have the best care possible and prefers to leave it to a top professional rather than her inexperienced hands.  

- In return, she’ll triple the amount of affection and caresses—more to calm herself than you, but you won’t be the one to complain.  

Sevika:

- She needs a moment.  

- She knows she has to report to Silco that there was a firefight, that someone is threatening the people, but part of her just wants to grab those responsible and crush their heads with her bare hands, doing both you and her boss a favor. Yet, another part of her doesn’t want to leave you alone or take you with her.  

- She knows how to handle these things; she’s lost an arm, and Silco’s goons often come back in worse shape, which is why she’ll take care of you herself, in complete silence.  

- She’ll wait until you’re asleep to place a water bottle, a glass, some painkillers, and some bread on the nightstand next to your bed. And when she’s sure you’re fully asleep, she’ll leave a soft kiss on your forehead before putting on her cloak and heading out to the Last Drop.  

- There, she’ll release her anger in a brawl or two, talk to her boss, and search for the reason why she feels so awful at the bottom of her third glass of whiskey.  

[pinkicyheart]

aot ideal types ˖ ࣪⭑

a/n: fluff, no gendered terms! enjoy <3

eren: i think eren feels like he’s hard to understand. he’s very ambitious and wants to make the impossible possible. i feel like he wants someone to understand why he does what he does, and why sometimes he doesn’t say what he means. it’s not enough for someone to just blindly support him. he wants true unwavering support only found from seeing his point of view.

mikasa: mikasa has a lot of love to give. when she loves you, she would lay down her own life a million times just for you to be happy. i think mikasa wants someone who makes it all worth it. who would do the same thing for her. also for someone to help her make sense of her conflicting feelings. just generally, someone very loving and almost parental.

armin: armin wants the best of both worlds. he likes being flustered, and being told what to do, but he likes being in control as well. he likes spoiling his loved ones and doting on them. i think he really likes cute people. cute people with a more forceful domineering side. or fierce looking people with a cute side.

jean: i think jean lives inside a shell. he’s really scared of the outside world, and is scared of wearing his heart on his sleeve. he’s scared to be childish and free. i mean last time he chased childish ideals, his friend died! i think he needs someone really positive, tender, and fun to remind him that it’s okay to chase comfort and fun sometimes. you can be a responsible adult and a carefree child at the same time. they also have to be patient because unlearning everything will be very painful for him.

connie: someone exactly like him. someone who can keep up w his nonsense and his endless energy. i remember isayama saying that connie’s ideal type would be a gyaru and i totally agree. i don’t think he likes quiet meek people. he likes people who are loud and colorful and express themselves as such. also someone emotionally mature because i feel he admires that.

erwin: i think erwin can love anyone. his heart is just that big. he can see the beauty in anyone and bring it out. you just have to be able to handle him. outside of the world of titans, erwin would probably be a kind of weird person? he’d probably be able to lead a normal life, but i think he’s just the type of person that wants to be part of something greater. a normal life would never satisfy him. and i think you’d have to just be okay with going along for the ride.

[luveline]

Steve zombie au with reader getting hurt at the new camp (like always) and Eddie offering support as a friend but Steve gets all jealous while trying to take care of HIS girl

for you my love ♡ steve zombie au —steve is riddled with guilty jealousy as you and eddie become friends. fem!reader 2k

It's a brave new world.

For starters, there are enough guns at camp and able bodied gunmen for fires in the daytime. There are warm meals eaten under the sun, songs sung quietly but nonetheless sung around the fire. There are happy children. There are books to be read to them, and batteries to power flashlights for story time under the stars. 

Things aren't perfect, but after the tragedy of The College, things are good enough. Steve can bring himself to leave your side (though not for the first few days where he's bed bound, and not for a few more after that). 

He can't lie, he hates that you like Eddie so much. His jealousy is a raging monster of stiff spines and dry eye twitches, insecurity that you've met someone new and that you trust them so quickly. 

You were cagey at The College, scared of Steve's friends and petrified Steve was going to break up with you. He couldn't understand at the time how you would ever think such a thing, but now, with Eddie sitting by your knee and a piece of string between his fingers weaving a cat's cradle, your eyes alight with delight, Steve gets it. He totally gets it. 

"It's not hard," Eddie promises you, letting the string fall from his fingers and into your lap. 

"I don't have a complicated brain," you say. 

"It's not rocket science. Even Steve can do it." 

Steve picks an overcooked Lima bean up from his discarded dinner tray and aims to flick it between Eddie's eyes. You're gathered around the campfire in your cold weather coats, a procession of young (ish) adults knee to knee chatting away the worthless hours. When the Lima bean smacks Eddie in the cheek, Steve could pin it on any number of the people gathered. Christopher is a renowned professional when it comes to bothering people, and Jonathan has that older brother's penchant for being irksome, but Steve owns up to it. 

"That's a touchdown." 

Eddie gives him the finger as he instructs you, completely unbothered. "It's those two fingers– No– Yeah, you got it. And then push this finger under this, and this finger… Nice." 

In another life, there's a Steve who doesn't care. He hasn't had to vy for your attention before besides sharing your friendship with Robin, and he's pathetically sorry about it —you should have friends. Steve thinks unabashed that you're the best person they ever made. All you want (all you've ever wanted) is to be loved and to give love back. He's known that about you for a very long time. And in his eyes you deserve what you want. 

You deserve to have friends. He can share Robin, and you can have friends of your own, too. You can have everything. 

Steve can't get a handle on how it's making him feel, is the issue. He's envious as a teenager with their first crush. 

"You honestly just need to practise," Eddie assures you, laying back in the grass with his arms behind his head. 

"You'll have to show me again." 

You stay sitting and Eddie shows you the pattern again without sitting up. You aren't flirting with one another. Steve wonders if that would feel better, to be jealous of something substantial, but you're doing normal things. Eddie is treating you with exactly the kindness and friendship you deserve. Steve wishes he managed it himself when you first met, because you're his best love and his best friend. 

Robin not included. (Robin is always included. Steve would die for her.) 

Like she can sense his devotion, Robin puts a hand on his shoulder, pulling his weight gently to the left. "You'll burn a hole in his leather jacket." 

"I hope he catches on fire." 

"What are you so worried about? She had plenty of chances to leave you for somebody new. Jonathan's been nothing but sweet to her the entire time they've known one another and she barely notices." 

Steve grimaces. "Jonathan likes her too?" 

"He wants to be her friend, just like Eddie. I, on the other hand, want to marry her." 

"Funny." Steve yanks grass up from its roots, the blades soft and cold between his fingers. There's an ice patch growing on his ass and thighs from the cold as the temperature drops. "It's fucking cold." 

"You can move closer. I need to go and find Sarah for a bit. Don't burn your new kicks, Steve, they were a great trade." 

Robin swapped a useless handgun for them to the resident portable blacksmith. Steve wriggles his toes in them gratefully. 

Steve and the remaining group move closer to the fire slowly. When the sky is black and smooth as velvet dotted only by stars like pin holes, Will comes running with a miraculous bag of marshmallows, trailed by his ragtag group of friends; Dustin with his fraying hat, Lucas, and a teenaged boy named Peter. 

Steve couldn't believe Lucas was alive at first. Eddie told the story to him when he was recovering in the shitty portable medbay. You'd been sleeping in the plastic chair by Steve's bed, your face pressed to his chest, a puddle of drool soaking into his t-shirt. He'd stroked your forehead for hours. 

Eddie and a whole bunch of Hellfire members didn't quite manage the escape rendezvous orchestrated by Hopper at the start of the apocalypse. You and Steve must have just missed them when they set out in Eddie's van for safety. The story goes that Eddie's shit with directions, and while he managed to get to Michigan eventually, it was hard. They met up with a group of much older people who were able to take some of the weight off, eventually finding a group of military soldiers who'd been drafted to protect a politician's family. Their group kept growing and growing. While they never set up camp somewhere permanent, they've kept it together. If Eddie's group (or moving community) had managed to make it to The College, Steve thinks they might have survived the attack.  

But you're together now. Hawkinites reunited, Hopper alive and well and nursing new plans. 

"Hopper give those to you?" Christopher asks Will. 

"How's that fair?" Eddie asks. "Family favouritism." 

"I have to share them," Will says. 

"Oh, well. Never mind. Accusation renounced." 

The teens kidnap Eddie and run off to find sticks for marshmallow roasting. You turn to Steve with a smile that makes him feel worse rather than better, so subtly devoted. 

"How's your arm?" you ask, leaning into his shoulder. 

"Aches." 

"Can I have a look?" you ask. 

Steve offers his arm with no qualms. You fight to push back the sleeve of his coat and jacket. His wound is closed and healing nicely, but the infection must've been in his muscle or something because the ache won't go away. It feels as though he's done a hundred pull ups with one arm alone. 

You don't touch anywhere near the site. 

"I think it's looking better." You thumb over one of his little moles. "Pretty." 

"You're pretty." 

"You're prettier," you say, folding his sleeves down again with infinite care. He thinks you might be batting your lashes at him. That, or he's whipped to the point of delusion. "You feel okay, hm? You're mopey tonight. Do you want to go sleep?" 

Steve shakes his head vehemently. "And miss marshmallows? No way." 

You both notice that your question of mood went unanswered. Luckily for him, you dip down to rub your cheek against his sleeve. "Love you." 

He loves you too. He says it under his breath, pressing his cheek to your head for as long as you're willing to stay there. 

"Y/N-kins, Steven," Eddie says, returning with a handful of long branches covered in foliage. "I have a job for you." 

You pull leaves off of the branches. It should be an easy job with the three of you sitting criss cross applesauce yanking the twigs naked excitedly, but you pull with too much enthusiasm and stab the meat of your thumb. 

You hiss and look down. Your noise draws Eddie and Steve's attention in tandem, Eddie closest to the injured hand. 

"Oh, shit," Eddie says, pulling his sleeve over his hand. He presses it to your skin as a surprisingly fat rivulet of blood springs and drips down to your wrist. "Here, don't get it on your clean coat." 

Steve doesn't know why he does it. He isn't proud. But he thinks, That's my girl. Eddie's being friendly, and Steve knows that's all it is, but he can't stop himself from batting Eddie's hand away and moving in protectively. 

"Cop a feel somewhere else, Munson," he bites. 

"Steve!" you say, laughing. 

Eddie rolls his eyes, sitting back in his spot with a laugh of his own. "Ridiculous. I wouldn't cop a feel ever 'cos I respect women–" 

"Nice," you say. 

"And if I were trying to flirt with her, Harrington, I'd definitely do it better. But as you both know my heart is promised to someone very important. I'm busy keeping the memory of metal alive, I don't have time for stealing girlfriends. Not that you're not worth stealing, Y/N." 

Steve dabs your hand. You wink at Eddie playfully. "You keep her alive, Eddie. Are you gonna play some more rock songs for us tonight?" 

"Duh." 

"How do you manage to hurt yourself every single day?" Steve asks, distracted from the conversation by your cut. It can't be a quarter of an inch long but it's bleeding in a rush. 

"See how it got faster when you came to save me?" you ask Steve. His heart drops, but you continue, "My heart gets faster when you're close. My blood pressure rises." 

Steve tries not to show how pleased he feels at the compliment. You tap his elbow knowingly. 

Steve assesses your cut. It stops bleeding just as soon as he leaves it alone and the kids arrive with their marshmallows, putting an end to Steve's makeshift medbay. 

Someone puts a couple more logs on the fire to get it roaring now that night is creeping in. Steve insists on roasting a marshmallow for you. 

"I have one working hand left," you protest. 

"And knowing your luck, you'll burn it." 

"I'd never control you like that," Eddie says, deadpan.

Steve stabs Eddie with a stick that's lightly smouldering at the tip. You tell Steve off, but when he presents you with a roasted marshmallow for eating you give him the world's greatest thank you kiss. Another after you've eaten it, your lips sticky with sugar. 

"Do you want mine?" Steve asks. 

You wrap your arm around his waist for a lopsided hug. "No. Don't ask me again though, I might say yes." 

"Do you want mine? Seriously, honey–" 

"I'll have it," Eddie says with a shit-eating smile, eyes trained on the fire where he toasts his own marshmallow. 

You wave your hand at him. "No, you won't." You lift your chin to kiss his cheek. "It's yours. Don't let it burn, handsome." 

Alright, Steve might have jumped the gun on the whole jealousy thing. 

[oneshlut]

Could you possibly do some hcs for Jax with a s/o that's a tsundere at times and he finds their reactions to his teasing amusing? (If you don't know what that is defined as a term used to describe a person or character who swings between emotionally hot and cold, in particular when dealing with a love interest. Especially used to describe someone who is usually cold or cranky but occasionally shows a soft, kind, mushy side.)

A/N: yesyes! i know how much you folks love flirty/teasing jax, and i am here to feed you all. eat up my little weirdos😋

Lovingly Hated (Jax x Tsundere!Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: Headcanons of a flirty Jax with a tsundere S/O, how Reader reacts to his teasing

Oh, when I say he makes fun of you, he makes fun of you. Nothing amuses him more than making you mad, irritated, or just generally pushing buttons. I feel like we've gone over this many times before, but yes, he's a total asshole. Never too mean to you, though.

When he eventually gets with you, (how that happened is another story), he realizes you get irritated not just by him being a dick. Rather, being the opposite. Seems like you get flustered by just the slightest bit of flirting. And he teases you relentlessly.

Jax is always up for good comedy. Why not make his own? To him, you're his own personal amusement. Yes, he still views you as a person, with feelings and all that jazz. But he's not just about to pass up this opportunity. After all, you just looked so cute, getting all flushed and defensive.. he couldn't help himself!

So, despite your many protests, he continued to tease you. Even if you stated how much you hated him, and even told him to his face how huge of an asswipe he was, the slightest glint of a dorky grin gave it all away. Jax could see through you like glass.

On this subject, he never gets hurt at your remarks or denying of feelings. Again, he can see right through you, so putting up a facade in front of him is a bad idea unless you want to be joked about it to your grave. Honestly, Jax finds himself enlightened at the scowling look on your face, because he knows--even as much as you try to refuse it--you love him. And here returns the strange feeling in his digital stomach.

Will call you cute little nicknames just to see your reaction. Some examples being: Sweetheart, Cutie, Sugar, Love/Lovely, Sunshine or Sunflower, Angel, all that jazz. And yet, that's just the tip of the iceberg. Though, one that Jax notices that you favor, is Darling. He makes sure to use that one more than the others. His personal favorite, though, is sweetheart. It always seems to make you stumble.

If nothing else, you were one of Jax's favorite people. That thought made you lightweight. But, god, if you ever admitted you enjoyed his company, you wouldn't hear the end of it. You hardly ever showed him your mushy-gushy side, since you had hated getting so open and vulnerable. Normally, when you did eventually get soft, he had teased you about it. But he knows when and when not to joke about things with you.

Sometimes? He's completely incapable to joke. If you're irritated and tough part of you managed to slip away, and you had told him how you genuinely loved him in a heartfelt way.. Jax would crash.

Jax is more of someone to give affection rather than take it, so if you hugged him, held his hand, or, you know.. kissed him, he wouldn't be able to handle it and would just freeze up on the spot. But, of course, Jax still teased you about it afterwards.

Days will go by where you just fight back and forth like children. You'd deny your feelings for him, and he'd tease you about it. Over and over and over again. Kind of like a 'nuh-uh', 'yeah-huh' situation.

Jax himself doesn't like to get sentimental. If he's gonna show you in any way that he likes you, he's gonna do it by flirting playfully until you get sick of it and just say you like him. He'll say something like: 'Don't worry, I like ya too', then walk away, leaving you slightly befuddled and warm.

He may tease and flirt all the time, but know that Jax genuinely loves you. He loves the way you fight and tease back, he loves your reactions, he loves everywhere that you go. Not like he'd admit it or anything.

But, if there's anyone you're gonna get with, I'd be surprised if you choose Jax. Because believe me, around here, Valentines Day is treated like another April Fools.

[scorchingbread]

Grim x gn!reader who isn't keen on physical touch

(Gender of reader isn't mentioned)

Cw: sexual scenarios discussed, handjobs,dislike of physical touch being talked about in depth + it's worries. Please let me know if I missed anything :)

MINORS + AGELESS BLOGS DNI I'M TIRED OF BLOCKING YOU

Spoiler: grims name, ending 3

(I totally didn't base this off of my own feelings whatsoever... Psh what?)

842 words

You were laying in bed facing the ceiling with Casper laying beside you. You just couldn't help but think about yesterday when you decided to go all of the way with him. It wasn't that you weren't attracted to him or didn't feel any desire, but you couldn't help but shake the feeling that it was... Uncomfortable. You never really liked being touched and you thought that maybe this time with someone you really loved that maybe it would be different, but it wasn't. The worst part is that you enjoyed him being happy and getting satisfied, and you don't want to take that away but you can't just set aside your own feelings for that.

"Sunshine, are you okay?" You snap out of your thoughts and turn to see Casper facing you with a worried look on his face.

"I just..." You sit up and pause for a second. Is it really okay to bring up? Would it hurt him? Would he take it the wrong way? Screw it. He's given up being a grim reaper and is in hiding just for you, so maybe... maybe he would actually understand since he knew you had built up the courage so far for physical affections. "I was thinking about last night, and I have some... Complications."

"What about last night?" He raises an eyebrow and still has a look of worry on his face. Casper sits up as well and turns to face you completely, having his full attention.

"Well.... The thing is... Oh how do I go about this." You trust him, but it's just so hard to put your feelings into words. "I didn't really enjoy it. The sex... It's not that I don't like your or am not attracted to you, I am, it's just... It was too overwhelming and uncomfortable. I liked seeing you satisfied, but I don't know if I could put myself through it again." You look at him worried about what his reaction might be to this information.

"Sunshine..." He brushes some of you hair out of your face. "I'm glad you told me. It's okay. You love me and am attracted to me, so that's all I can ask for. I wouldn't want you to do something you're uncomfortable with just for my own pleasure." You can't help but feel emotional. It just felt so nice to hear those words.

"T-thank you. That means a lot actually. I don't know what exactly I expected you to say, but it truly means a lot to me. Normally I have people push my boundaries or not believe that I could be uncomfortable from touch, but you've been very understanding." Casper frowns when he hears what happens to you when discussing boundaries with other people and he sighs.

"You shouldn't have to thank me for being understanding... I'm your boyfriend after all. A thousand curses on the people who treated you that way in the past." By the look on his face you can tell he is definitely trying to curse those people from your past. "So tell me... Just so everything is clear, what 𝘢𝘳𝘦 you comfortable with sunshine?"

"Well... I like your kisses and hugs, and I'm fine with touching you myself... I liked when you held onto me too, but full on sex? That was just too much for me to handle." You lay it all out for him, it's best that he knows how you feel especially since he actually cares to know. "But the problem is that I still want you to be able to have pleasure in our relationship. I don't want it to feel like I'm taking away something from you."

"Sunshine..." He pauses for a second. "Though you don't have to. If you are 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 worried about this I'm sure we could come up with something that would still be comfortable for you."

"Really?"

"Yes. You said you don't mind touching me yourself?"

"That's right... Oh maybe... Just maybe... That might work." Suddenly you had an idea. One that would fulfill both of you in this situation. "Say what if... What if we stuck to me giving you hand jobs. You could sit in front... And I could wrap my arms around you. Or o could even sit in front of you, if you wanted me to get a nice view?" Suddenly your mind is wondering to the possible scenarios. It's a simple solution and one that you wish you could have thought of sooner.

"That sounds..." You could see the blush creeping onto Casper's face and he brings up his hand to try and hide his embarrassment. "I like the sound of that. I'm glad we could... Figure this out so to say."

[richarlotte]

More sugaring advice?

If you’re experienced, have a polished image, offer a high-class experience, and know how to present yourself, then I’d recommend requesting a donation of no less than $900. Once I really learned what I was doing, locked down my social media and focused on providing a relationship that was totally private, and made an effort to meet with men I normally wouldn’t pursue, I was able to raise my minimum to $2000 (adjusted for cost of living) and keep it very high. No woman should be settling for a PPM that’s less than $600; that’s ridiculous and a total ripoff. Do not waste your time with time wasters, hobbyists, or freaks.

 

Vetting is important, but that doesn’t mean digging into people’s personal lives. It’s obviously really important to make sure that you’re keeping yourself safe, but high-profile clients aren’t going to want you to dig through every aspect of their lives. Discretion is key, and if you do find something unsavoury about someone, cut that person off and add him to the blacklist. NDAs and confidentiality agreements aren’t as popular as you’d think, but when they do happen, be sure that you’re not setting yourself up to get taken advantage of in the long run.

 

If you want to prove a truly high-class experience, you need to be willing to do a lot to conform to the image you’re expected to conform to, and you have to be careful with how you act, how you speak, and what you do. If you are in situations with alcohol, make sure you can handle yourself and make sure that you don’t get sloppy drunk. Know the dress code before you go and adhere to it, keep the conversations flowing naturally, and don’t force connections that aren’t going to work. If you’re meeting businessmen, then you have to be business minded, if you’re meeting lawyers, then you have to know the law, and you have to be able to adapt and work with the situations that you find yourself in.

 

There is not one image that men are looking for when it comes to black women. I see so many posts that push the bougie stereotype, but that’s not the only image that’s desired. I have met so many men and succeeded when I’m myself; men absolutely love being around someone who’s bubbly, positive, and able to handle herself. You have to figure out what you want to do but understand that you can’t constantly be updating and rebranding. If you’re young now and plan on being in the game for a number of years, start out with an image that you can work with and that will age naturally. Whatever you do must seem graceful, not forced. Being black means you have to work with the gifts you have been given.

 

Never bring work too close to home. These men should not know your full name or home address; they shouldn’t know how to find you when they want to, they shouldn’t have access to your real social media accounts, and you should be very concerned about your privacy. Do not let men you don’t know pick you up and take you to a second location, don’t let men come near your apartment building or office, consider working in the nearest major city to you instead of staying in your city, and always carry protection on you. Every woman should read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker and research the number of women and sex workers who are attacked yearly before they don’t take their own safety seriously.

[wickmitz]

Do u actually ship rocky and mitzi?

to try and be as simple as possible, i suppose i do ship them ; i’m particularly drawn by their dynamic and have long since grown enamored with it … so, naturally, i enjoy turning them over in my head and shoving them together, seeing all the possible ways they fit and how they function when glued together. rocky’s feelings for mitzi are so intense and metaphorical that there’s a lot of ground to run with, honestly. it’s not a black and white relationship where they fit neatly under one label or another either, hence my constant use of the term ‘a secret third thing’ for them overall. there’s romance, obsession, desperation, platonic associations, and a thousand other factors embedded into what they have. rocky simply ‘seeing mitzi as a mother figure’ or ‘being totally in love with her in a traditional sense’ just doesn’t capture them with the justice they deserve. it’s more … muddled than that. rocky, at this point in time, is completely incapable of maintaining love anyway, and mitzi certainly isn’t any better either. in a context where i envision them together, that aspect is a big part of things : where they click together due to their inability to sustain a healthy and stereotypical romantic bond, and thus accidentally fuel each other’s unhappy paths. it’s easy to see how mitzi does this to rocky! but rocky is capable of doing it to her as well, what with his all-consuming need to be who she relies on and to restore the lackadaisy to it’s previous glory for himself and her. he enables her and she enables him, even if it’s subconscious and accidental. while there is undeniable fondness and care there, they are also walking down this path hand-in-hand, tugging each other along when one of then falters or pauses. so, to me, it’s not hard imagining things becoming closer and more intimate … who doesn’t want to be smashed together against someone who gives you all the validation you crave and never shuns you, twisting all your awful deeds into something good and believing you righteous at all times. it’s addicting! and natural. while rocky obviously would enjoy such a relationship, so would mitzi at this point in her life. where she’s exhausted and feels particularly ugly within, and is currently all alone.

they also would click in ways that wouldn’t force them to abandon how they currently go about romance. mitzi needs to spend a good portion of her day thinking about her dead husband and nobody else, meanwhile rocky is very enamored with being a knight in shining armor so to speak, only able to express himself through extreme devotion, a thing that ( as said by crew members on stream ) can’t singlehandedly keep a relationship afloat … normally. but mitzi can deal with rocky’s rather eccentric and destructive behavior, can take the only thing he can offer and accept it wholeheartedly, because she couldn’t handle anything more normal or mature right now. and rocky, despite his occasional displays of territorial behavior, never bats an eye at or feels inferior to mitzi’s atlas obsession. this wouldn’t be the case in other relationships, where both of them would have to change or grow in some way in order to keep the love stable and secure. there would be things they’d have to give up, or be vulnerable about, and both of them are too stubborn for that at this point. a random lover would always be a second thought compared to the lackadaisy.

( now, of course, i ship mitzi and rocky with other people! and i’m very interested in these bonds forming during canon’s events. but it’d either be an unhealthy relationship, due to everything i said above, or a happier sort of take on things : where mitzi and rocky are pulled from their minds’ unraveling edges and are both given the care, patience, and understanding they both need. one where they can set aside the lackadaisy for a moment or two, and can find genuine happiness somewhere else. i never see them as fully moving on from it, nor do i see mitzi fully giving up atlas or rocky fully giving up mitzi, but things can be softened and less insane. sometimes! )

now, is this healthy? no. but is this me saying they should be surgically removed from one another because they make each other ‘worse’? also no! i adore them in every sense of the word and acting like there aren’t positives attached to their dynamic would, frankly, be stupid of me. they are there for each other in their worse moments and approach each other with kindness, something they don’t really get from others anymore. they are genuinely happy to be in each other’s presence and have a habit of lifting each other up, or providing each other some much needed warmth on a bad day. you see it many times in the comic, situations where mitzi is devestated, and rocky rushes in to comfort her ; and he always succeeds in some way, wiggling that severe expression off her face and getting her to smile, even if it’s small and weak. and rocky loves that! it makes him happy to be able to ease her heartache and worries so. it makes him feel useful and needed, and she’s one of the only people in his life to give him even a sliver of praise here or there. here are some examples i can remember off the top of my head :

and while there isn’t many examples of mitzi praising rocky, she is also still one of the few people who shows concern over him and asks after him. there are also two scenes, in the pilot and in the comic, where rocky messes up big time, and mitzi has every right to be frustrated with him. she could yell, she could get mean, like rocky is so used to, but instead … she sucks it in and simply lets it go. this happens with the pig farmers, but also in the pilot most notably! where the second she realizes how hard rocky is taking her words, her reasonable and sympathetic irritation at things not working out, she backtracks. she forces those emotions away and simply says this, earnestly and kindly, and wipes the devestation off rocky’s face :

as much of an accidental negative influence they can have on each other, there’s also a more purposeful positive influence that is inherent in their dynamic. i wouldn’t ever want to dismiss that, nor do i enjoy when other people rush to do so themselves, claiming they’re simply no good for each other. well, they claim mitzi is a manipulative person who only sees rocky as a pawn, but i’ll pretend fans are critical of rocky’s many faults as well. the point is : they’re good for each other and to each other! they just happen to have a great capacity to cling and stay where they are rather than doing anything more beneficial or productive. any dynamic in lackadaisy can become toxic in a sense, given the fact that a majority of the characters are prone to indulging in their flaws and chasing what’s familar, what’s most comfortable, with little regard to anyone else. but i find that aspect interesting, and i love rocky/mitzi all the more for their accidental enabling and vastly obscured views.

the more romantic aspects aren’t really something i care too much about, overall. i play around with it and find scenarios where things can bloom in such a way, but them calling each other ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ isn’t something i care for. i do not think mitzi would ever be attracted to rocky in a sappy lovesick way -- she’s above fawning as it is, and is rather methodical about things like passion or adoration nowadays anyway. her eyes can’t exactly sparkle upon seeing rocky spilling syrup all over himself nor can she sigh dreamily at his nonsensical, improv poetry spiels that just burst out of him like water through a broken dam. but they could soften at the corners and she could convince herself of something romantic if it held her the right way. if she felt battered enough to give into it, or was lonely enough to indulge herself in a place she knows she’s wanted. rocky, on the other hand, is a bit easier to imagine here! he would never say no to miss m. and actively wants to ‘keep’ her already … if they were to become an item, an obscure, happenstance item, than he’d embrace it full heartedly! it’s been well established rocky isn’t one to turn down love or affection, so to get it from mitzi of all people? it’d be extremely ooc to even pretend he’d regret it or shy away. he loves her, of course he does, his beautiful dionysus : who unlocks her doors for him to enter, who smiles upon him with her wine soaked lips, who brushes a dainty paw across his shoulder and sings him praises like it doesn’t pain her to say them. she is warm and comforting and soft, and rocky is possessed by a maddening desire to wrap every spaghetti limb he has around her, and never let her go. again, his love is nothing short of all-consuming and obsessive where mitzi is concerned. her devoted acolyte! it would be simple to see how he’d get here in comparison to mitzi’s more wounded and guarded heart. i don’t think rocky fully loves her in only a romantic sense, however! i’m a firm believer that it is a mix of romantic and platonic feelings, an awkward and intensive blend of the two, this sort of combination that isn’t easy to sort through. he does take comfort in the fact she reminds him of a motherly figure, just as much as he genuinely finds her attractive and appealing in a puppy love kind of way. there’s also the fact that rocky is keen on lying to mitzi and wearing masks around her in the name of seeming more amazing in her eyes -- the fact his love for her is metaphorical and personal in equal measure, and the fact mitzi hides herself away from everyone around her. there would be a lot of untangling! a lot of pretending. this is a ship that will always have a multitude of layers and caveats attached to it, so to speak.

but that excites me! i like it! i love a dynamic that i could write endlessly about no matter the context it’s being framed in! how utterly unsurprising it is that the first lackadaisy fic i thought of was one that would focus heavily on these two and what’s happening between them, what could happen. mitzi wallowing in her self-inflicted misery while rocky prowls around her, begging to be useful to her while simultaneously chasing off a suitor of hers that he cannot stand to let near, is quite the image in my mind, and is one i always have looping around in the back of my head. the parallels to atlas/mordecai are an added bonus to this! if rocky is doomed by the narrative then mitzi is the narrative to which he’s bleeding himself upon, you know? that, as well as his own insecure delusions. mitzi, similarly, would easily waste away to nothing or get herself killed while trying to pursue her nostalgic ambitions if it weren’t for rocky being so willing to do the dangerous stuff for her. i think about how mitzi almost got herself killed in skedaddle and how rocky rushed to save her. while zib and ivy care for mitzi, and viktor is obligated to protect her, they are not as quick as rocky is -- nor as recklessly devoted to the point of readily given sacrifice.

anyway! i’m very fond of them, and there are so many scenes and other aspects of their characters that i could spend ages pouring over. this is, genuinely, merely a fraction of my thoughts on them. although i do hope i answered your question, anon! i got a bit carried away and i’m sure a lot of this is hard to parse through by default, but oh well!

[heartsteellerr]

How they comfort you during a scandal

Request; Hi! I see that you’re requests are open! Can I get a reaction of Heartsteel member’s s/o feeling insecure about dating a celebrity, seeing false dating rumors about the members they are dating and just generally worried about idol scandal stuff because of them? how would the member comfort them about it? A/N ✎: Hi nonnie!! Sorry this request was taking FOREVER for me to do but 🙏 I got some of it done! I decided to split the request into parts for (partly) MY SAKE cos lately i've been busy and I didn't exactly want to prolong it, and also because I didn't want the post to be that long?? So hopefully you're fine with that! Enjoy! Content; Hurt/Comfort, leaning more towards hurt Warnings; GN reader, reader isn't an idol Characters; Ezreal and Kayn

It's honestly on him for not being discreet about your relationship, or 'the' relationship that no one knew about (aside from the other Heartsteel members) until a photo leaked of him with someone. He didn't seem to mind it though, brushing it off as something that'll soon blow over eventually with the media news. But you on the other hand, did in fact mind it ⎯ more than him actually. As you weren't a famous, sensational popstar like he was or had any social status within the media, you were just... Someone standing beside him, and that sort of mindset grew onto you the more you looked into the false dating rumors circulating around him. Seeing the pictures of numerous celebrities that people speculated were in the photo with him and then comparing yourself to them, or the way some fans were picking apart the 'mysterious partner' as someone not worthy of being with their bias, or⎯ but then your phone gets snatched right out of your hand. Taken and tossed aside as he held you in his arms.

Ezreal

He'd be pissed at himself for being so careless and even more pissed at seeing you degrade yourself when he loves you so. No words can properly explain how he feels in that moment, or how he wants to convey that he was a big giant idiot for not taking your feelings into account ⎯ but with the way he held onto you, unmoving and refusing to let go so you wouldn't be able to see his face, it's clear how much he regrets putting you in this position.

In a way, it's almost laughable to him how you'd think of yourself as unworthy of him when that's how he feels when he's with you. Idol or not, you can easily express yourself without a care of the media attacking or slandering you for your comments, or the way you dress comfortably for yourself and no one else, even the littlest details about you were so... loveable to him, that he does find himself to be a bit envious of you sometimes.

How he chooses to handle the scandal will depend on what you also want him to do; ideally he'd want to make it public that he's taken but won't (ever) be revealing his partner's identity for personal reasons (obviously) and would make a serious comment that the public and his fans shouldn't dictate who he dates ⎯ it's for him to decide, and the person he chose is you.

Kayn

He's an idiot. He'll say it out loud and not-so proud for the whole world and even the media to hear because truly, thats who he is. He really didn't see that this whole thing would blow up in his face, especially when he was so in the moment of loving you to even notice the backlash he'll be getting ⎯ which, incidentally, was totally and completely on his part. But could you really fault him for it? Somewhat. BUT in his defence it genuinely felt that way, like being with you for hours when it only felt like minutes for him.

He'd say something like how you made him feel like a normal human being instead of a freak, or an idol put on a pedestal by his fan ⎯ and even though it was good at first, it limits so much things he wants to do. An easy example: Loving you.

Again (like Ezreal) when he makes his statement to the public it also includes what you want him to do with your relationship; he can come out public with it or keep it under wraps, saying everything was false, all while making sure his anger was very present ⎯ because for one, how dare they butt into his business and two, for making you think so lowly of yourself.

[noddaduck]

What gets me about Kipperlilly is that while her trauma envy is messed up, she really is facing an opposite problem to the Bad Kids.

Some people on here are saying that if she wanted to go on big adventures she should have done it herself and not expected some kind of plot hook to give her an opening. But we are seeing how that is going for the Bad Kids this season, and it clearly sucks. Fabian went on his first date with Mazey, yet so much of that conversation and role play was still about the mystery and the mission. Gorgug lost a chance to spend time with his bio parents because he was trying to get into a really learning heavy class. The Bad Kids are such good friends, but they can only spend time together in shared classes or as part of the mission. Why would you expect that of anyone?

Most Aguefort kids aren’t going on big real-world adventures like the Bad Kids cause that’s literally being in High School while also working a full time career oriented job. And yet some of these kids know that this is all just leading up to that real job that they’ve never really experienced or seen proof that they could handle. Is it so weird for a child to want confirmation that they’ll be able to do all the things they’re supposed to do as an adult, especially when they are seeing other kids get that confirmation?

Riz isn’t strong because he suffered, he’s strong because he has an amazing mom he looked up to and learned from and who taught him. Having that vision of his own best self, not just a copy of another person but really something he loves that he was able to really learn thanks to the support he was lucky to get DESPITE his and his mom’s financial situation. He chased his own dream of being a master detective, of dishing out justice, and he got so good at it that it let him kill an ancient red dragon.

Personally, I was one of the smart kids in class, but I wasn’t one of the gifted and talented. One kid was working with circuitry in a class where I was learning about screws and levers. In a photography class I got paired up with a kid in a lower grade than me who full on made his own model rocket fuel for homemade bottle rockets. Combining that with having ADHD that nobody properly educated me about, I always thought I was just missing something. I’m taking my medicine, I’m going to class and trying to join clubs, why is it that every time I ask someone to teach me they don’t have time for a total beginner? Why is being my own teacher the only way to learn these things, and why can’t I do that if apparently everyone else does?

I just don’t blame Kipperlilly for being upset when she is presented with the Bad Kids as an example to follow despite the fact that neither she NOR the Bad Kids are given proper time to actually work toward that goal. The Bad Kids don’t actually have the time for adventures on top of their regular lives, but they are forced to do it anyway. Kipperlilly allowed for time so the Rat Grinders could have whatever their normal lives looked like, at least until they all were taken by Ancarna. If your choice is to either work yourself to death and be told you did the correct thing, or to take your time and be shown that you are wasting it, why wouldn’t you be angry?

[jethought-s]

Eddie Diaz, my love, you are wonderful and I will always defend you by all means.

I really think I have reached my limit. Leaving aside the fact that before Buck kissed the rat the 911 fandom was a paradise while now thanks to them it is practically a hell, I’d have no problem if they stayed in their hole to support Buck's relationship with a homophobic, racist, xenophobic rat and the thousand other virtues that distinguish him but no, from the height of their bad taste they allow themselves not only to insult the ship but even think they have the right to be able to question Eddie not only as a character but even as a father! So, welcome to my defense/declaration of love to Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz (I know that the episode is only an hour away, that some people have already seen it because it was uploaded to some platform, and that it is a very long post, but if you love Eddie Diaz like I do, please read it and let me know what you think. I have to share my immense love for him with someone)

If I were to launch myself into the experience of describing and analyzing everything we know about Eddie I would end up rewriting the entire Divine Comedy so let's focus on today's “problem,” which is the one that, for some, Eddie is a selfish character and a bad father. This honestly makes me laugh a lot, because the people who support this theory came out after the sneak peek that instead is absolute proof of the wonderful father that Eddie is and his growth as a character.

“Eddie called Buck, but what does he have to do with his mess?” “He cannot be so selfish as to hope that Buck will solve his problems.” “His problems are not Buck's problems”.

So, first of all, do you even know the other member of the ship you support? OF COURSE BUCK WOULD DROP EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE TO RUN TO EDDIE AND CHRIS. Second, what kind of miserable, affectless life do you have to even think such a thing? Taking the ship out of the picture, taking the romantic side out and keeping only the friendship, if one of your friends, someone toward whom you feel sincere affection has a problem, it’s normal that that becomes partly your problem as well. It’s love, because friendship is also love. And here we're not talking about a problem with the car engine, we're talking about a problem that Buck himself was already concerned about and that involves not only Eddie, but also his son. The son whom Buck loves so much that he fights for him as no one else would, and of whom he does in fact have legal custody should the reading of the will take place. That's why Eddie named Buck, and that already shows a great evolution in him, the fact that he recognizes that he has a problem, that he doesn't know how to handle it, that he needs help, and he doesn't shut himself off and somatize all these anxieties and fears but seek help.

Those who have suffered with their mental health know perfectly well how big this step is toward the right direction. In the healing process one has to come face to face with the problem and he has done that, unfortunately, however, not entirely because of him, Christopher has been involved. AND HERE WE GET TO THE POINT OF WHAT A WONDERFUL FATHER EDDIE DIAZ IS.

Contrary to what the same psychopaths claim, Eddie is fully aware that he screwed up, but, being a good father, he called Buck. Why? Because he knows his son so well that he knows, no matter how much it kills him, that there is nothing he can do to fix it at the moment and that the only one who can approach Chris in such a delicate situation if he cannot, is only Buck. The sneak peek scene clearly shows how Chris is at the center of his world, is literally his heart, so much so that he is willing to step aside for his sake.

Eddie is not asking Buck to solve the problem (Buck's response about how he doesn't think he is able to explain what is going on proving that he still doesn't totally realize how significant and essential his presence is in their lives) he knows that that is his job, but he knows his son so well that he knows he needs to talk and be heard, because nightmares become less frightening when you talk about them, but he knows he wouldn't do that with him because he needs time to be able to process it, but he also knows how risky it is to keep it all inside, and so he has called the one person he is sure Chris can confide in without pressure in a natural way. Eddie is not asking Buck to fix the mess he made, Eddie is simply asking Buck to be Buck, because he is all that Eddie and Christopher need. As he has been from the first moment they met and as he always will be.

Taking away the parallel to 5x12 (this would deserve a separate post), this sentence destroyed me. Eddie doesn't care about himself right now; he cares about Chris. His instinct as a father would lead him to break down that door, to apologize, to get him to talk to him, to hug him, but he loves him so immensely that he knows he can't do that right now, and with all the selflessness that only the strength of the purest love can give you, he steps aside to make sure he’s not alone. Eddie is a wonderful father because he is still learning, and I am afraid he will learn a hard lesson in this episode but I will talk about that once the episode airs.

I would like to say so much more, about how much this also shows Buddie in their essence, in always being there for each other, to always be the priority in each other's lives because essentially, even if they don't realize it yet, they are already one. Let's just hope the show decides to take the path of making them realize what they always have before their eye

One last point is necessary, however. What is written above is only 1% of the story, but that alone is more than enough to make you understand how BuckRats fans will NEVER be able to bother Buddie fans. Because there is no contest, we are talking about two characters, Eddie and Buck, sharing life, soul and heart, and two characters, Buck and the rat, sharing 4 minutes of screen time.

[olderthannetfic]

/olderthannetfic/768940866455896064/i-dont-like-it-when-heavily-traumatized?

I feel like there's an ounce of truth to saying something like that is cowardice, though? Just as an observation, to be fair. Neutral, not judgemental. It is cowardly—or it can be—and that is also fine, I think. It's pretty realistic to be cowardly, especially after facing trauma. I don't understand what's wrong with that, I guess? Saying so, I mean.

I mean, I can imagine people are needlessly rude about it, but like... generally speaking, what's wrong with being a bit of a coward?

There are two characters I love very deeply who I would say are cowardly, to the extent that they both sort of meltdown, panic and run away—one so much that he has a bout of disorganized speech—and though the circumstances are different, it's just one way to deal with the situation. They can't face it upfront, so they go around, and honestly, in these cases, they're better off for that. It's an extremely overblown and emotional response, but it is also very real. It's fine, I think, if someone is cowardly, because honestly, who isn't? And many things can exacerbate that. It's like being "selfish" or whatever, too, like of course you want things for yourself. Who doesn't? And in that same vein, who isn't afraid? Who faces everything all the time? Who doesn't back down sometimes? It's, you know, normal. Necessary, sometimes. Ideally, you'd improve, but hey, maybe running away initially would be better for facing it later.

Like, you can't deal with everything all the time. Lots of statements like that, "coward", etc., ought to be more neutral. I think every person alive wants to avoid difficulty. I don't think many people are truly that brave or as good as they'd like to think. It's just a way of protecting yourself, albeit, it can be wrong and harmful in and of itself, especially pushed too far—say, avoiding difficulty and pain to the extent that you can say you "don't want to hurt anyone" while somehow managing to hurt everyone. That's not very good, but I mean. It happens. It's more about what you can do to make up for that, or if you even realize it to start, but a lot of that stuff is just totally normal for people to do.

I don't think it'd be bad unless they avoid difficulty to the extreme and never take responsibility. In that case, I'd say no amount of trauma makes up for the damage they'd do. Worse, they likely won't even be able to see the harm because doing that would mean holding themselves accountable, although that can be a lovely trainwreck, at least—made better by the fact it isn't real.

I got off track a little, I don't know. Cowardice is just not being brave. Maybe people will be rude about that, but there's nothing wrong with lacking bravery, and there are plenty reasons one would, especially after facing some particular hardship. Closing yourself off is cowardly on some level, but objectively it is also a way to protect yourself, and that may be insensible or ridiculous to some, but it's also a perfectly reasonable response. Makes sense, psychologically. When you face a lot of hardship and then get on the other side of that, sometimes it just makes it harder to face anything else. And I just don't think cowardice is wrong, inherently. Withdrawing can protect us. Sometimes, that made us safe before. Maybe it doesn't now, but people will keep doing the thing that made them safe before, long past its expiration date. And that can hurt a lot more than if we hadn't. So it's a neat thing to explore, but I dunno. To me, "coward" is a net neutral. It isn't a statement of value. It just is. The value lies in the handling of the cowardice, I think, not in the word itself.

--

[mimiruku]

I WAS WAITING 🥳🥳🥳😈😈😈 QUESTIONS FOR MIRUKU!!

All under Catmint - Ferocity, Courage and Quarrelsomeness!!

█   𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐂 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ⸻ ( ⚝ )

Here we go again with my ridiculously late answers, but thank you for always humoring me and sending questions in, Melon! I hope your day is going well !

╰┈┈➤   𝑪𝒂𝒕𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒕 - 𝑭𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒚, 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔.

───  01.  How quick is your OC to anger? Can they fly into a fury, seemingly out of nowhere? Or does it gradually build like a gathering storm? Infrequent & quick to relinquish. By default, Miruku is not an angry person nor does he have the capacity to hold onto anger. It's an emotion that is more often than not replaced by dejection and despondency, he's more likely to express disappointment and sadness rather than anger. He also values his comfort enough to not gather and bottle most negative emotions he comes across, this side of him helps relieves his displeasures.

However, person as he is, some disturbances cannot be avoided, the handful of times he had been truly angered were moments that debilitated him wholly physically. It is a foreign emotion he does not really know how to handle, it makes him physically ill as a result.

───  02. What motivates your OC to be courageous? A sense of honour or duty? A need to maintain a reputation for fearlessness? A bloody-minded refusal to be pushed around? A wish to protect the vulnerable? The need to win against all odds?

Miruku is not a courageous individual, though at first glance he may seem bold and fearless, his truth is stranger than fiction ! His fear response is thoroughly impaired, unable to properly react to danger cues. He could be aware that something or someone is dangerous but fear is alarmingly dulled, fortunately he was taught to curate his well-being and safety first and foremost.

This affliction, while worrisome to his love ones, had proven to be quite helpful in navigating the underbelly of the mafia system. This is likely why, in spite of being a civilian, Miruku was able to wedge himself into crime and violence, though because this is not at all normal or healthy, he ends up suffering else where.

───  03.  What subject is your OC most likely to argue about? And who are they most likely to argue about it with?

Miruku Osashima does not argue, he simply MANSPLAIN people into submission. He has this horrible way of completely ignoring what people are saying, talking over them without much of an 'anyway' to change subject. He knows what he is doing and he does not want to acknowledge your opinion whatsoever ; the subject ? Anything. ( He does this often to Momina, some kind of bullying tactic. He finds her frustrations cute. )

───  04. Does your OC often bicker with others? Do they complain frequently? Is this due to genuine dissatisfaction or anger? Or is it done in a slightly tongue in cheek fashion?

He is pedantic without a cost, but Miruku would never claim he bickers. He banters albeit viciously in frustrating and ridiculous extent, he doesn't need to be right nor does he care to win, he only bickers and complain only to tease. He does it often enough that you'll get use to his misconduct, though admittedly if you're particularly sensitive, you'll likely feel like you're being tyrannize by a school yard bully, in some ways he is but the bully likes you a lot and things is sweet when you whine and cry.

His TORMENTOR LITE hobby however, will eventually blow up in his face. In his adulthood, this schemes hardly works with the three men that keeps him in check... Reborn, Takeshi and Dino has a special way of forcing him to behave, it's almost believable when he starts whining about how they don't actually love him and that they're sick and twisted for whatever totally reasonable thing they've put upon him. Suddenly, he knows how to bite his tongue.

───  05. When was your OC the most angry they have ever been? What about this situation made them so angry? Was it the person who provoked them? The injustice of the situation? Or their own powerlessness in the face of circumstance?

It had been when Yuni returned with Byakuran, he didn't think he could have ever hated anyone more than he hated Yuni in that moment. Byakuran is a very unique pain that he could not begin to commiserate with. Yuni forgave Byakuran in their stead, as if she has authority to revoke the harm he had done.

His outrage will eventually melt into special ache. Yuni had made Miruku deeply and irrevocably heartbroken. He looks at her pained, but as he let goes of Byakuran, so does he with her.

[tigreblvnc]

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP — @modern-day-corpse-bride

Your match is...

— Charles Chevalier

✦ How happy I am to finally be able to match this little French imp with someone.

✦ Actually, Charles came to mind very clearly when I read your bio, mainly because I think you two share a few similarities.

✦ And you both give off a similar energy.

✦ 'I’m a veryyy talkative person' There's something special about Charles—he can be very talkative, and I can totally see him chatting with someone on the field in a random way while the match is still going on...

✦ ...and also, there are chapters where we almost forget about him?

✦ Especially because when the match loses its excitement, Charles stops investing in it. We see this when he literally asks Julian if he can leave the game because it's getting boring.

✦ 'A lot of people think I’m mean but I'm not!!!' Clearly, with Charles, there's an insolence that reflects his young age and the fact that he's so good on the field that there's not much that unsettles him. He easily teases people and likes to do the opposite of what he's told. In jargon, we call that a troll.

✦ 'I’m really big on complimenting and boosting other people’s confidence' I like to think that you met during one of his training sessions at the stadium. You found something a bit funny and unusual about him, and your eyes followed his run on the field. At first, he might not have noticed you, but eventually, he realized that someone was regularly commenting on his crazy passes and turned towards you.

✦ He froze for ten seconds before signaling you with both arms raised as if you were someone he had known for ten years.

✦ I think that normally, encouragements leave him quite indifferent, but coming from someone he doesn't know at all, it might amuse him and even make him laugh a bit.

✦ At the end of his session, he turns to you and, quite unexpectedly, throws the ball at you from a distance. Just to see how you’ll handle it.

✦ Maybe you dodge the ball, maybe not, but either way, it makes him smile. He strides over to ask, "T'es qui ? Tu fais quoi là ?" – 'Who are you? What are you doing here?'

✦ You’re not sure if he’s really listening even though he’s the one who asked the questions, but he’s smiling at you widely, with his shark-like tooth showing.

✦ 'I think that the notion that I’m “mean” comes from the fact that I’m very honest.' Well, you see, I think this amuses him because he likes controversial opinions and people who aren’t afraid to say what they think. Charles finds conventional and controlled people boring. You can see it on the field—he prefers to get along with Shidou, someone more original and aligned with his philosophy of play, rather than Rin, who is very structured and strategic.

✦ 'My main love languages are physical touch and gift giving' I can’t see Charles being into giving long speeches or spending time listening to others; I think his love languages would be more like yours, maybe with acts of service included. I imagine he’s the type to rush and jump on the people he likes, climbing on them without shame (like he does with Shidou when they score together).

✦ The cool kid you never get bored with. He prefers outdoor activities over indoor ones, and he takes you to see the cool spots in Paris. The amusement park is his favorite place.

✦ A bit uncontrollable, he’s all over the place and wants to try everything with you. He pulls you by the sleeve: "Allez ! Ça a l'air trop bien !!!" – 'Come on! This looks awesome!!!'

✦ He enjoys teaching you curse words in French.

✦ Buys you ridiculous trinkets from attraction stands.

✦ Tons of selfies that he posts on Instagram, tagging you every time, even though it’s his face in 80% of the photo.

✦ Emoji abuser. His messages are unreadable, and he sends forty of them in a row.

✦ Sends voice messages too, many of which cut off prematurely (the worst kind). He records them again right after but never finishes them; he’s already moved on to something else.

✦ 'I like to collect vintage items like dolls or photos which kind of creeps a lot of people out, and I also like to hand-build with clay from time to time.' Honestly, that intrigues him. He finds it weird and judges it out loud, but it doesn’t scare him.

✦ He tries to make a clay sculpture of you and totally messes it up.

✦ He gives it to you on some random day with no particular significance.

✦ The sculpture’s aesthetic is questionable, and you can barely recognize yourself...

✦ ...But you keep it anyway, because a gift from Charles is worth gold.

A word about your match: You’re kind of the partner-in-crime duo that everyone dreads, that people secretly like a little, but that no one will admit to liking.

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | AUGUST '24 MATCHUPS EDITION.

[princess-of-the-corner]

CC: So, like, after the Togas are arrested, what happens exactly? Like, U.A. has enough evidence to yoink Himiko into protective custody, but wouldn’t they have to at some point prove in court that Himiko's parents suck? Or did someone go at them with "either you sign her over quietly, or no one finds your body". Like, for Amnesia!Dabi, we said they were a reporter & a lawyer with HC connections, if that’s still true, wouldn’t they have influence to fight the charges?

Some of that needs to be hammered out BUT-

Yeah the UA staff start putting together proper evidence and it's. It's kinda easy given the stuff her parents directly said. Like not knowing where their daughter has been for months is a clear slam dunk for a judge.

But there's also.

So I haven't gone into this because I planned for it to be chapters of Blood is Thicker rather than the main CC fic, but I haven't followed up on that in a WHILE and most of this is said in passing in CC anyway:

There's going to be an incident sometime pre-Sports Festival, possibly pre-USJ? Haven't hammered out that time.

But Himiko is only getting very minimal amounts of blood. Mostly just asking her classmates during training exercises. But it's not enough for her. So while it's better, it's also teasing.

Which leads to a sparring match where she kinda. Does the same thing that happened with Saito. Ofc this time she has a bunch of people who can restrain her so things don't get as bad.

The UA staff know that clearly something is Up. And they debate on who to have talk to her and they land on like. Clearly this is something with her Quirk given the blood drinking, so they have Vlad King talk to her because hey blood Quirk he gets it to an extent on how that Quirk may rub people the wrong way and it might make her more open.

Himiko.... is not having a good time. Because she lost control again and thinks this is proof that she's incapable of being a good person and that the teachers are just going to arrest her now.

So she doesn't have any problem voicing those thoughts about how 'her parents were right about her', and even the whole Saito incident to Vlad King and he's like 'oh that is a whole barrel of red flags about your childhood'.

Vlad King helps her with the whole thing of like. Hey, Quirks with dietary requirements exist. You clearly need blood to be healthy. Denying you of that is a bad thing, and you were quite literally starving when you lashed out so no one can really blame you.

Which. Is probably the first time Himiko has heard someone tell her that her blood consumption is totally normal? So she's just. So confused and caught off guard by that.

They talk more and he tells her that she needs blood, and there's ways to help her with that. They're going to start testing out how much she needs and what all she can handle. Like, does it have to be Human, or will animal blood work? And that if she starts feeling bad then she can come to him and he can handle giving her some of his blood because part of his Quirk involves being able to loose a large volume of blood and be fine.

Himiko asks to leave her parents alone in this because like. They're her parents. They love her, right? But while they agree, the UA staff is now documenting all of the things Himiko says. Especially because while Himiko doesn't want her parents in trouble, she does agree that she wants to get Saito out of trouble. Because in this AU her parents had that incident covered up by claiming that he attacked her and she acted out of self-defense. So they have to do something about that.

Himiko does have a bit of a breakdown when they realize that yeah animal blood does work for her she could've just had that all these years and not been tempted to chomp down on her classmates.

Then yeah Himiko's parents see her in the Sports Festival and using her Quirk and they show up to UA to complain and yell at her about what she's doing and mention not knowing where she's been for the past few months and....

Yeah it's A Lot and the last bit is what gives the Staff proper clearance to arrest them because while the emotional abuse is hard to qualify without Himiko herself opening it up as a case, and the 'she needs blood and they've been starving her' stuff could be claimed as ignorance, something more clear-cut like the neglect is enough.

There's going to be the actual legal stuff on charging them for things, but there's already a lot of evidence stacked against them that it's a lot easier here than it would be in Amnesia!Dabi.

[fictionfolk-safehaven]

I LOVE this blog, hello!! 👋👋👋👋 It's so so comforting (in an odd sense) to see people sharing experiences that we also experience!

CWs here: Incest, the coffin of andy and leyley (because I assume that should be a separate mention itself), i swear and stuff

So, I don't know who sees this and who knows my source (hello 👋 leyley here). I won't go into lore details here because that's not the point of this, but the important thing is: the protagonists of the game are me (Ashley) and my brother (Andrew).

In source, we are both really messed up in a "I don't trust anyone but you, I only like you and I can't be away from you" way. This went to the degree where there is a possible incest route in the game between me and my brother.

Now, me and my brother introjected together, and we ARE a couple here. Yes, siblings, but also yes, a couple, because our trust levels and closeness is still like it was back then. I love him, truely. And the last time I opened up about this, I was SHAMED to no end.

The game is viewed as problematic enough as is especially due to these reason, but people just seem to totally ignore that fictives like us, and fictionkin like others... that's our reality.

Yes, my brother and I went through hell and if we lived in this world from the start, I never would encourage what he and I have, but the circumstances are WAY different. And I think people should accept that.

Hell, he and I live in the same body. It's not hurting anyone, in my opinion. It's not like I wear a shirt saying "I fuck with incest" or something, No, I would never!! All the love I have for him I tend to keep private, one) because it's no ones fucking buisness, and two) because people hate my guts for my source, my relationship and what not!! I am not hurting anyone by loving him WHILE we are in the same body.

I have no idea where I am going with this, I just really really like that there is people who also experience relationship deemed "problematic" by people who have no place to judge and I just needed to let out all of this stuff because it feels SO GOOD to finally be able to talk about this

⚰️🩷💚

CW's: Incest, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley

Post Author: We'll call me Z.

This is exactly why we made this blog. Phil was going to answer this, he's much more gentle and kind than I am, but I feel like answering this fairly soon and not leaving anyone to any social anxiety is important, at least while the blog is small and we're not getting asks often. I agree- it's not hurting anyone. We take the "no thought crime" thing fairly seriously, and that includes in-headspace. If someone in headspace is genuinely harmed that's a different story of course, but.... really, if you're happy with where you're at, and you're in the same body for crying out loud- it's not hurting anyone, and it certainly doesn't seem to be hurting you.

It makes me angry (anger holder? me? neverrrr /s) that you were shamed about it. I feel like many people throw out their usual "be normal about fictionfolk, especially problematic fictionfolk" and such once certain topics are breached. I won't pretend that there's no good reason for people to have such a knee-jerk reaction- but I do think that it should be talked about more so those reactions can be unlearned in situations like insys relationships or fictives where no one is being hurt.

I hope you don't mind the long response, we're probably going to assume that people are okay with us treating an ask as something that wants a response unless stated otherwise since that's how they're typically handled. It's 100% okay to rant without knowing where you're going with it all you want, that's part of the point of this! It's meant to just be a place fictionfolk can talk about what they typically can't.

Oh, and as a side note, you are definitely not alone in having "problematic" relationships. Kaeya and Diluc are the ones who have the most problematic in-source (unconfirmed insys since they're new) relationship at the moment, but there are others who would definitely get attacked if they, say, wrote a fanfic of their relationship.

As always, I wish you and your system/collective well.